In the intricate complexity of human existence, the concept of deservingness has woven itself deeply into our collective consciousness. We are bombarded with affirmations like "You deserve happiness," "You deserve success," or conversely, "They didn't deserve such misfortune." These phrases, while comforting, perpetuate a belief system that life operates on a merit-based framework, rewarding virtue and punishing vice. However, this notion is not only misleading but also fosters a victim mentality that undermines personal growth and resilience. The reality is that life is indifferent to our biases, desires, and perceived entitlements. Recognizing that we inherently deserve nothing can liberate us from the shackles of expectation and empower us to cultivate a strong, adaptive mental attitude.

Consider the emotional example of a child diagnosed with a terminal illness. By any moral or ethical standard, such suffering seems profoundly unjust. If the universe operated on a system of deservingness, innocence would be a shield against pain. Yet, the harsh realities of life demonstrate otherwise. Clinging to the belief that misfortunes are undeserved only deepens our anguish and sense of helplessness. It anchors us in a victim mentality, where we fixate on the unfairness of our circumstances rather than seeking paths forward.

American leaders have long grappled with the interplay between individual agency and the fickleness of life. President Abraham Lincoln, in his second inaugural address, reflected on the Civil War's devastation, noting, "The Almighty has His own purposes." Lincoln knew that events often unfold beyond our comprehension or notions of justice. Similarly, civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. emphasized action over entitlement. He proclaimed, "Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability but comes through continuous struggle." King's words remind us that progress is achieved through effort and perseverance, not by waiting for what we believe we are owed.

Baruch Spinoza, a philosopher of rationalism, proposed that understanding the deterministic nature of the universe leads to true freedom. In Ethics, he wrote, "The more we understand particular things, the more we understand God." Spinoza believed that by recognizing the impersonal forces governing existence, we can free ourselves from illusions of control and entitlement. Accepting that events occur according to natural laws, rather than any moral reckoning, allows us to navigate life with clarity and composure.

Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory offers insight into the psychological ramifications of entitlement. Freud introduced the concept of the "narcissism of minor differences," where individuals magnify trivial distinctions to feel superior or deserving. This tendency fosters division and dissatisfaction, as the perpetual quest for validation is never truly satiated. Freud posited that maturity involves reconciling the ego with reality, accepting limitations, and moving beyond self-centered desires.

The Torah (Hebrew Bible) provides profound narratives that challenge the notion of deservingness. The story of Job is exemplary of unmerited suffering. Job, a man of integrity, faces catastrophic losses not as punishment but as a test of faith. When he demands an explanation, God's response underscores human limitations in comprehending divine wisdom: "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?" (Job 38:4). This exchange highlights that the workings of the universe transcend human notions of justice and fairness.

Ecclesiastes further contemplates the unpredictability of life: "I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither bread to the wise, nor riches to the discerning, nor favor to the knowledgeable; for time and misfortune happen to them all." (Ecclesiastes 9:11). This acknowledgment that misfortune plays a significant role in our experiences reinforces the idea that outcomes are not necessarily tied to merit. It invites us to embrace humility and adaptability in the face of uncertainty.

Viktor Frankl, a Jewish Austrian neurologist, Psychologist and Holocaust survivor, offers a compelling testament to human resilience in his book Man's Search for Meaning, that I first read in high-school as a part of our mandatory reading assignments. Despite enduring unimaginable suffering, Frankl observed that those who found meaning beyond their circumstances could transcend their victimhood. He wrote, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." Frankl's philosophy underscores that our power lies not in controlling external events but in shaping our responses to them.

In contemporary society, the prevalence of social media amplifies feelings of entitlement and comparison. Well-curated glimpses into others' lives that obviously captures only positive circumstances can foster a sense that we deserve similar success or happiness, which, rest assured, is almost always fake. This mindset detracts from our ability to appreciate our own journeys and can lead to resentment or despair when reality doesn't align with expectations. Recognizing that life doesn't owe us these experiences allows us to refocus on personal growth and gratitude.

Adopting the perspective that we deserve nothing is not an exercise in cynicism but a pathway to empowerment. It dismantles unrealistic expectations and shifts our locus of control inward. We begin to measure success not by what we receive but by how we respond to life's inherent challenges. This attitude fosters resilience, as we become less susceptible to the destabilizing effects of unforeseen hardships.

Stoic philosophy echoes this sentiment. Epictetus taught that we should concern ourselves only with what is within our control—our thoughts, actions, and reactions. He advised, "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." By relinquishing attachment to outcomes and focusing on our own virtue and effort, we cultivate inner peace and strength.

Moreover, embracing this mindset can enhance our relationships with others. When we let go of entitlement, we become more compassionate, empathetic and less judgmental. We recognize that everyone is navigating the complexities of an indifferent world, and we can offer support without expectation. This shift promotes empathy and strengthens communal bonds.

In practical terms, how can we integrate this philosophy into our lives? It begins with mindfulness and self-reflection. We can examine our beliefs about what we think we deserve and question their origins. Are they rooted in societal conditioning, fear, or ego? By identifying these sources, we can challenge and reframe them.

Setting intrinsic goals rather than extrinsic ones can also help. Instead of aiming for outcomes tied to external validation or rewards, we can focus on personal values like integrity, and perseverance. This approach aligns our actions with our inner compass rather than the random, unpredictable tides of fortune.

In conclusion, the belief that we deserve nothing is a transformative realization that liberates us from the constraints of entitlement and victimhood. It aligns us with the fundamental truth that life is impartial and often beyond our control. By shifting our focus to what we can influence—our attitudes, efforts, and choices—we build a resilient mental and physical framework capable of withstanding adversity. This perspective does not diminish our aspirations or joys but enriches them by grounding them in reality. Life's indifference becomes less a source of frustration and more a whiteboard upon which we write our responses. In accepting that we deserve nothing, we paradoxically gain the freedom to pursue everything with authenticity and purpose.